TOP FIVE MARRIAGEABLE MALE CHARACTERS IN THE MOVIES

I discovered this article via Name That Film on the top 5 marriageable female characters in movies, so I decided to make my own for male characters:

H.I McDunnough, Raising Arizona. He reformed himself from a life of crime and only wanted to do what was best for his wife, too bad it didn't go so well.

Willie Mossup, Hobson's Choice. Possibly the only husband in the history of the movies to admit that his wife's bossiness was a good thing. Also, he and his wife are great partners in business as well as life, so they'll always have something in common.

Lloyd Dobler, Say Anything. Obvious, I know. Not many 18-year-old males would fly to London for their girlfriend's career. On the other hand, he's got his kickboxing, so you know he's not just a hanger-on.

Alfred Kralik, The Shop Around the Corner. When you've found your soul mate, the fact that she's a bit of a bitch shouldn't stop you. Having already aired out both their petty disagreements and their deepest ideals, the rest should be smooth sailing.

Mr. Darcy. Pride and Prejudice. You can't trust the smooth talkers, but a guy who'll bail out your loser relatives after you've rejected him in a humiliating fashion is a keeper.

I almost included Nick Charles from The Thin Man. The first film to have the concept of a married couple as fun-loving best friends is an important landmark, but in reality I'd fear the inevitable alcoholism-related bills later in life. I once counted all the martinis they had and realized if I drank that many I'd be dead. Dude, that's pure alcohol!

Of course, my sweetie is a combo of the best qualities of all five.

JFRO STARTS A MOVEMENT (WELL, ON FACEBOOK, ANYWAY)

My co-worker and I were talking about the trouble with getting to the polls on Election Day, and we came up with the idea of combining Election Day with Veterans Day (I know, it's not original, but we were very impressed with ourselves). My polling place is 1/2 mile from a bus in either direction, in a ritzy neighborhood that believes in having no street lights to keep out the riff-raff, and yes, it is uphill both ways. Since my stupid state requires a reason to vote absentee (lack of transportation is not listed as a valid excuse), there was no way I was going to risk getting challenged this year.

This idea would solve two problems-- 1) everyone forgets Veterans Day, schools usually don't close, so vets are not being properly honored, and 2) voter turnout is (usually) rather low. VV Day would honor vets by reminding everyone what they fought for, while giving more people a chance to vote without creating another national holiday.

Here's my Facebook group--join the Jfro juggernaut!

IS OUR LONG OBJECTIVIST NIGHTMARE FINALLY OVER?

Now that the most powerful and influential Randian of our time has somewhat repudiated his views, can we put Objectivism into the dustbin of history along with Communism? I mean, just because you thought that scene of a rebel architect ravishing a socialite on the top of a tall building was hot when you were 20, should you base your whole political belief system on it? Two Girls Fat and Thin was good, though.

BADASS JFRO, SUPERHERO

Here's my superhero, Badass Jfro, via the HeroMachine. I'm pretty happy with her, although they didn't have a lemur, so I made do with an ermine as my mascot (maybe a fennec would be more appropriate). Nice choice of ninja weaponry, though.

MY NEW CALLING CARD

Inspired by this article in Lifehacker, here is my new calling card for social situations. Moo lets you print business-size cards from your Flickr photos. Selections from my "Urban Decay" series are on the other side.

I enjoy the contrast between old-school and new-school social networking. I know the thing to do now is call people on their cellphones to give them your number, but that just isn't as cool. What is more suave, taking five minutes to text in an email address, or flashing them a card? I didn't put in all the personal stuff, since acquaintances from Meetup groups or some such don't need to know.

SORRY, JOYCE CAROL OATES. KUNG FU IS COOLER THAN BOXING

In a somewhat recent New York Review of Books article, Joyce Carol Oates wonders why boxing is no longer so popular. That's obvious, its ass has been beaten in the global marketplace by kung fu. Not that karate, tae kwan do, muay thai, and capoiera aren't also beautiful in their own way, but the Chinese created the martial arts movie and if someone in Hollywood is looking for a martial arts choreographer, it's probably going to be someone from a kung fu background. Kung fu movies led to Hollywood rip-offs, video games, and a whole new sport based on the plot of Enter the Dragon. Nowadays, you almost never see a John-Wayne-style slugfest in a movie. Even all-American Jason Bourne uses martial arts (it looked like krav maga to me).

Kung fu has become part of American culture. African-Americans were again ahead of the curve on this, as they found the martial arts movies' themes of self-improvement and struggle against the (Manchu) man congenial. In the days of the melting pot, it made sense for ethnic groups to show their pride by fighting by the same rules and in the same tradition. Nowadays, with the multicultural salad bowl, it's only right that each fighter compete in his own martial style. Or what the hell, why not an African-American sumo against a French capoeira mestre? That's the way the world is today. Let's face it, what's cooler to watch: a guy holding his hands in front of his face and jabbing occasionally, or a guy who can stand on one foot and kick somebody behind him with the other?

Some people think it's weird that Joyce Carol Oates loves boxing, but I see the appeal. Hey, sweaty, half-naked men moving around in a choreographed fashion, what's not to like? I just find kung fu more beautiful and (since I limit myself to fictional entertainment) less likely to cause irreversible brain damage.

NOT GETTING MY DANCE ON

Well, I wanted to do some dancing last Friday, but all my options were sad, sad, sad. Dr S. and I wandered around downtown going from sports bar to horribly-overpriced-dress-to-impress-yuppie-hell to sports bar playing rap or top 40. We thought about seeing this bhangra DJ, but it was $35!

I am of the generation that believes that dance music is techno or house. Listening to Groove Radio will give you an idea of what I mean. Industrial or electro is also acceptable. Of hip-hop influenced genres, dancehall, bhangra, reggaeton, or baile funk are also good, but I have to have an assurance that regular, mainstream, top 40 rap will not be mixed in. Sadly, the good stuff is often reserved for weekdays when only young'uns and those in the hospitality industry can attend.

I just can't dance to rap music. It does not make my boogie muscle move. The good stuff is great for listening in a car or at home, but not dancing.

Well, at least there's still Ground Zero's Bondage-A-Go. Too bad it is hard for me to get to by bus. What is up with all these clubs being so far away from transit now? Is it a conspiracy of the taxi industry? I don't want to haul my ass all the way to Maplewood and walk 1/2 mile through mall parking lots in order to get down with my bad self.